


Birthday

by neko-nya (neko_fish)



Series: Yellow [6]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Grief/Mourning, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-18
Updated: 2015-06-19
Packaged: 2018-04-05 03:12:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4163469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neko_fish/pseuds/neko-nya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s somebody’s birthday, but that somebody isn’t here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The atmosphere is just as heavy as he remembers. The pond hasn’t changed, and the blazing heat from the sun seems to have remained the same. There are simultaneously more and fewer people there, but the feeling hasn’t changed.

Kagami looks around at all the familiar faces that have shown up. The shadows are still there, but they’re no longer crying. The grief has started to dissipate.

That doesn’t make the bright yellow helium balloons look and less out of place though.

It’s somebody’s birthday, but that somebody isn’t here.

“Even though we all agreed to come here to celebrate his life and to thank him for being born, the atmosphere is still very glum for a birthday party, isn’t it?” Kuroko says.

He gets startled out of his thoughts by the sudden appearance of the smaller man next to him. “Kuroko, you really need to stop doing that.”

“But we came here together and I’ve been standing next to you this whole time.”

Kagami lets out a huff. “Shouldn’t you be socializing?”

Kuroko glances around at the group. “Like I said, it’s very glum.”

“That’s to be expected, isn’t it?” Trying to celebrate a dead man’s birthday, he doesn’t finish. “Maybe you guys just need to warm up a little.”

“He would’ve been 27 today,” Kuroko says.

The ‘would’ve been’ seems to suck up all the oxygen in the air, leaving him breathless with his heart beat pulsing in his ears, and his mouth dry and lacking words.

It seems like the whole world has paused as they stand there.

Twenty-seven might as well be a century away for a sixteen year old who will never grow a day older.

“I…” he tries, but his words fail him.

“I doubt he would’ve looked a day older than 20 though,” a voice interrupts.

The world returns back to normal.

The two of them turn to see Midorima standing there, pushing his glasses up.

“Midorima-kun,” Kuroko greets. “It’s rare for you to be late like this.”

Readjusting is glasses again, Midorima explains, “My apologies. Our bicycle had a flat tire. Ah, Takao is over there talking to Kasamatsu-san, in case you were wondering.”

Kuroko glances over and nods. “They were both point guards, weren’t they? If I remember correctly, Shuutoku won against Kaijou that year. I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re talking about that match now.”

Midorima shrugs. “I wouldn’t be surprised either. The outcome may have been different if Kise had been able to play that day. You were his last match, and he lost against you.”

Shaking his head, Kuroko replies, “Not really. Seirin may have won in point count, but Kise-kun definitely won the match. We couldn’t stop him even if we tried. Even thinking about it now, we just barely won that day.”

Stepping back from the conversation in which he had no part, Kagami walks over towards the water’s edge to survey the scene. Most of them seem to have broken off into groups or pairs to chat. Eyes roaming over all the different faces, he finds one distinctively absent.

“He won’t come.”

Kagami whirls around to see Akashi standing there.

“Aomine won’t come,” Akashi says again. “This isn’t where he’ll be.”

He furrows his brows. Unlike the last time they met, this Akashi seems softer somehow, his way of addressing others not as informal, and his eyes not mismatched as he remembered them to be. If he didn’t know any better, he would’ve thought he was talking to someone else entirely. “What do you mean?”

“Kise only lives in our memories of him. Aomine will probably be where Kise’s most alive to him,” Akashi says. “Personally, I find it strange that each version of Kise each of us is keeping alive is going to be slightly different, and none of them will be the real one, or the right one, or the one we want the most.”

“Strange? I find it more tragic than strange,” he replies.

Akashi’s expression grows distant. “I suppose that’s one way to think of it. Though, that way of thinking probably isn’t the best way to handle our grief.”

“It probably sounds terrible, but I’m a little envious of your grief,” Kagami confesses.

“Envious?”

“You’re all able to mourn him like this because you have shared memories of him. Not to make this about myself, but all I have are stories. There’s a connection I can’t feel and I can’t help but wonder what it would’ve been like if I’d met him in person—if I’d been there all those years ago.” He quickly adds, “All the same, I’m very grateful to Kise for bringing me here. If it weren’t for him, I would’ve never been able to forge the connections I have now.”

With a thoughtful hum, Akashi studies him. “I find it comforting to know that even in death, Kise has managed to bring light into someone’s life.”

Kagami blinks. “I never thought of it like that. Kise really was perfect, wasn’t he?”

Shaking his head with a smile, Akashi says, “Far from it. People always speak better of the dead. Or, maybe it’s just that we’d happily take him at his worst if it meant having him here with us now.”

He lowers his gaze. “You don’t know what you have until it’s gone, hmm?”

“In a way. But nobody ever tells you that nearly eleven years later, you’ll still be finding new ways you took them for granted,” Akashi says gravely. But then he smiles. “But nevertheless, I’m glad he was there, and chose to spend so much of his final years with us. Come, let us regale you with stories. Maybe with these, you’ll get to know Kise a little better yet.”


	2. Aomine

On some days, he doesn’t think about Kise at all.

On other days, like today, he looks in the mirror and runs a finger over the contours of his face. He does this and tries to imagine what Kise would look like now. He tries to imagine that beautiful, youthful face just slightly older.

It rarely works, but he still tries.

Today, he fails again.

Maybe it’s because the Kise in his memories is always smiling.

All he can see is his own face staring back at him.

He hasn’t told anyone, but there are times, more so recently, when he has trouble remember Kise’s face.

In all the scenarios in his memories, the words and emotions still ring clear, but he can’t see what kind of face Kise’s making—not anymore. Though, now that he thinks about it, he never really paid close attention to Kise’s face, not really. He looked at it all the time, but he never tried to commit it to memory or anything. After all, he never thought there’d be a day when he wouldn’t be able to see him.

There are still photos and magazines, but Kise’s pictures don’t do him justice. None of them feel quite right or even real. He avoids looking at magazines especially, afraid that Kise Ryouta, the model, will take over what little he has left of Kise. But those memories—of Kise just being Kise. They keep moving further and further away.

He wonders how many memories about Kise he’s already forgotten.

Although he understands that it’s probably all part of him moving on, he still wonders:

Why can’t he at least hold onto some of those precious moments?

He wonders if there’ll ever be a day when he finally breaks his promise.

Before he can delve too deep into that train of thought, there’s a knock on the door.

“Dai-chan, I thought we were going to Teikou today. Are you still getting ready?” a voice comes though. “Geez, you’re the one who picked the time too. We have to meet up with Tetsu-kun and them later, remember?”

Turning away from the mirror, he grabs his keys and jacket and makes his way to the door. “I’m ready, I’m ready. You’re so annoying, Satsuki. C’mon, let’s hurry up and go.”

“I was the one who was waiting for you!”

On the way down the elevator, he asks, “Hey, Satsuki, do you think there’ll ever be a day when we completely forget about him?”

Momoi shoots him a strange look before shaking her head and reassuring him, “I don’t think that’s possible. Even when we’re all old and wrinkly, he’ll be right there with us. That’s what I believe. It’s Ki-chan, after all.”

Suddenly, in his mind, a memory emerges. As clear as day, he can see the bright, sunny grin he’s been missing all this time, and he can’t help but smile along.

“Yeah, it’s Kise, after all.”

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to do something for Kise's birthday and somehow it ended up an add-on to Yellow. Go figure, eh? It's probably because I had to attend a funeral recently, but I was mostly in Kagami's shoes so I got to listen to a lot of stories. But anyway, I just wanted to post this up! Hope you enjoy!


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